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Hilarious 60+ Father’s Day Jokes Will Make Him Smirk 

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Dads are always good at groan-worthy puns and one-liners with straight faces – sarcasm king. The essence of love and fatherhood is always there. You can also honor your dad’s humor and corniness with one of these 60+ Father’s Day jokes. 

Funny Jokes for Father’s Day

What better way to celebrate the special bond between you and your dad than having a good laugh? Get a chuckle out of your superhero with these hilarious jokes:

  1. What did the dad say when his kids asked him to fix their bikes? “I’m two-tired!”
  2. I told my dad I would make him a belt made of watches. He said, “That’s a waist of time.”
  3. I asked my dad if he had any jokes about construction. He said, “I’m still working on it.”
  4. I told my dad I would make him a sandwich for Father’s Day. He said, “What kind of sandwich?” I said, “A ham-burger!”
  5. I told my dad I would make him a Father’s Day gift. He said, “As long as it’s not another tie, I’m good.”
  6. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
  7. Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu; you get what you deserve.
  8. I’m thinking of getting a new haircut for my bald spot. It’s a hair-raising experience.
  9. Why did the invisible man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
  10. I was at a restaurant and ordered a chicken and an egg. The waiter said, “Which one first?” I said, “I don’t know, let’s see who comes out of their shell first.”
  11. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed-man on a trampoline and a well-dressed man on a trampoline? Attire.
  12. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be a chicken sedan.
  13. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  14. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now.
  15. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
  16. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  17. I tried to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but it failed. Good players are hard to find.
  18. I just read a book on Stockholm Syndrome. It wasn’t good at first, but by the end, I liked it.
  19. Why did the physics professor break up with the biology professor? There was no chemistry.
  20. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
  21. I asked my dad for his best dad joke, and he said, “You.” I don’t know if that was a compliment or an insult.
  22. I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time.” So, I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
  23. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
  24. I don’t like to use elevator jokes. They always end up being wrong on so many levels.
  25. I told my wife she was the peanut butter to my jelly. She said, “I’m allergic to peanuts.”
  26. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.
  27. My daughter asked me if I was the boss of our family. I said yes, feeling proud. She said, “That’s because Mommy put you in charge, right?” 
  28. Dad, I want all your Father’s Day gifts because you wouldn’t get any of them if it weren’t for me.
  29. Do you know why I always pack an extra pair of socks when I go golfing? Well, it’s in case I get a hole-in-one, so I have something to change into.
  30. Did you hear about the guy who got lost in the desert? Well, he packed up his stuff, and right, too!
  31. What did the dad say when he saw his son doing a handstand? “Son, you need to get your feet back on the ground!”
  32. Why did the dad get mad at his son for buying a donut? Because he was dough-not supposed to!

One Liner Father’s Day Jokes 

If you’re looking to add some humor to your Father’s Day card to bring a smile to his face, one-liner dad jokes are a great way to do it. From cheesy puns to witty observations, these will make your dad laugh!

  1. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
  2. Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
  3. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells.
  4. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
  5. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  7. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
  8. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t raise the dough.
  9. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  10. Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
  11. What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie? Sophisticated.
  12. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.
  13. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  14. I’m so good at sleeping; I can do it with my eyes closed.
  15. Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny antibodies.
  16. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
  17. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  18. Why do bees have damp hair? Because they use honeycombs.
  19. Why don’t ghosts use elevators? They lift their spirits.
  20. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they are lactose!
  21. How does a train eat? It chews, chews!
  22. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant!
  23. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
  24. Why was the broom late? It swept in!
  25. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
  26. What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical
  27. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
  28. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  29. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.

Laughter Is Yet Another Perfect Gift!

Father’s Day is about appreciating the man who has always been there for you through thick and thin. And what better way than having loud laughs? We hope these Dad jokes give you plenty of ammunition to make your father figure crack a smile. 

Besides giving the gift of laughter, you can also get him a personalized gift from Callie. Whether it’s a custom mug or a heartfelt card, Callie has got you covered. Take your time; start shopping now and make this Father’s Day one to remember!

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